College Life Part 1 – A Parent’s Perspective

Yale University - college life
Yale University – photo from Pixabay

College Life – It’s Not Always Easy

If you google the word college, you’ll find images of beautiful buildings, lecture halls and happy coeds. It seems straightforward, but the transition to college life isn’t always easy.

Since August, I’ve been fascinated with the college talk of many friends whose kids left for their freshman year. I’m constantly asking questions: Do they like it? Are classes difficult? Are they partying? I hear that some are loving it, some are homesick and some aren’t quite sure how they feel.

Maybe I want to prepare myself for what’s to come (my oldest is a sophomore in high school) or maybe I just like living vicariously through my friends whose children are experiencing something new and exciting.  Either way, I’m unabashedly curious.

For every question I’ve asked a parent, I’ve wondered what their child was thinking. So I asked.

Two willing participants graciously agreed to answer my questions about the first few weeks of college. I am happy to share their experiences and emotions with you.

Today, I give you the parent perspective. On Thursday, I will post the student perspective. Both were beautifully honest and articulate and demonstrate how college, today, can evoke a myriad of feelings.

The Interview

Before your child left for college, what did you expect it to be like? I expected her to have a very similar experience as I had. When it wasn’t, I was shocked. I had an easy transition to college. I went to a very small Catholic liberal arts college In New England. My daughter is in a big city. I didn’t think about what a different experience it would be for her.

How close has your child’s experience come to your expectation? It’s very different. When I was in college, our fun was right on campus and my college always had something for us to do. I was in a class of 500 kids and her class has over 2,000 students. Her social scene seems to require more planning with “new friend groups.”

Do you think she likes it? I do think she likes it.  It was a rocky start because she was calling very late at night when she could talk privately – I heard concern in her voice. I think she thought she could quickly duplicate her tight, high school friend group. When that didn’t happen right away, I reminded her that she’d known her high school friends since elementary school; three or four days to know where you fit in wasn’t realistic. She is very confident academically, which I’m happy about. I want her to have that same confidence about her social circle – knowing it will work out just like it did in high school. Fortunately, after just a few weeks, her jitters are gone and she’s happy with her new friends.

How’s it felt having your child live away from home? Before she left I had her provide me with all of her passwords and accept the “Find My Friend” app. I spoke to her about the San Bernardino terrorist attack and how the FBI couldn’t get into the terrorist’s cell phone. God forbid anything happened, I wouldn’t want to delay finding her or accessing her accounts, so the app seemed like a good idea. The first few days I checked my new app constantly because I missed her and I was worried.  It gave me comfort. I had never used this app before, so when it failed and mistakenly showed her between two buildings, three blocks from campus at 7am, I panicked. I texted and called her multiple times. Then realized I only had campus police as my next option. I didn’t know anybody else, not even her RA from her dorm. Finally, 45 minutes later she called me and calmly asked what the big emergency was. Come to find out, the app is not always perfect. I’m not a worrier and never have been- I was a little caught off guard by how concerned I was about everything. As for the app, I still have it on my phone, but don’t look at it anymore. An explosion happened in her area last night. I sent her a text right away to make sure she was safe. I’m proud to say I never thought to track her location. Her simple reply back, “Yes, I’m safe” was good enough for me. It’s definitely been an adjustment.

What has worried you the most? I want to make sure she has fun. My best memory of college is the fun. However, my daughter is more mature and a more serious student than I ever was, which makes me so proud of her. My hope is that she can find a good balance between her assignments and a social life.

What has been the biggest surprise? I would say how much she misses home and her friends. She mentioned wanting to come home for Columbus Day and I advised her to stay. I know those first long weekends are tough, but if she stays it might help the transition.

How is college different for kids today than when you were in college? Cell phones make it so easy to stay in touch – maybe too easy. When I went to school we shared two pay phones on each floor of 35 girls. If your parents called, you were at the mercy of the line being free, someone willing to answer it and track you down. And, of course, I worry about her safety. I’m not typically a worry wart, but initially I was. Now that several weeks have passed I’m more relaxed and so is she. I’m excited for her and I’m so very proud of her.


Have you sent a child off to college? What was it like for you? Stay tuned for the student perspective on Thursday.

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Book Club – The Silent Sister by Diane Chamberlain

The Silent Sister by Diane Chamberlain for book club

 

As a writer, I find I read so much of my own work that I no longer make time for leisure reading. Yet, whenever I find the time, I always wish I’d read more. I finally decided to do something about it and organized my first book club. Accountability is everything, so knowing there’d be an expectation to actually read the book; I knew this would the best way to buckle down and read away.

Following a “host’s choice” format, I selected the first book and held the first gathering. As I hear many book club’s go, we sipped on wine and chatted less about the book and more about typical GNO (girl’s night out) topics. However, when the wine glass clinked, it was time to get down to business.

The club concurred that our first pick, “The Silent Sister,” by Diane Chamberlain, was a good read.

Synopsis from Good Reads

In The Silent Sister, Riley MacPherson has spent her entire life believing that her older sister Lisa committed suicide as a teenager. Now, over twenty years later, her father has passed away and she’s in New Bern, North Carolina cleaning out his house when she finds evidence to the contrary. Lisa is alive. Alive and living under a new identity. But why exactly was she on the run all those years ago, and what secrets are being kept now? As Riley works to uncover the truth, her discoveries will put into question everything she thought she knew about her family. Riley must decide what the past means for her present, and what she will do with her newfound reality.

The Review

Let me begin by saying that I couldn’t put The Silent Sister down.  That’s always a good sign because I get bored pretty quickly. But the writing here was very compelling and moved the story along at a good pace and with adequate detail. The twists and turns were captivating, if not a little contrived at times.

There were at least a few times when some drama was revealed that I thought, oh really, they’re going there? And then there were other times when I felt the outcome was a bit predictable.  In great part because the foreshadowing at certain points was so blatant that I felt the end was given away a touch early.

To this point, everyone in the club agreed that many of the book’s loose ends were wrapped up too soon.  With still a good bit of the book to read, we felt we had all of our answers.

That said; it didn’t prevent any of us from getting to the end and declaring The Silent Sister by Diane Chamberlain a club-worthy book.

Next up in November…

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah.  I’ll report back with the club’s opinion.

Read along and share your thoughts.

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The Labor Day Holiday is Here – Bye Bye Summer

Happy Labor Day Graphic

Today is Labor Day. According to History.com, this holiday is….

“…observed on the first Monday in September. It pays tribute to the contributions and achievements of American workers. It was created by the labor movement in the late 19th century and became a federal holiday in 1894. Labor Day also symbolizes the end of summer for many Americans, and is celebrated with parties, parades and athletic events.”

As the unofficial end of summer, with rain in the forecast and school starting tomorrow, I am certainly feeling closure.

 

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So here we go – right back to it, whether we like it or not. In honor of this Labor Day holiday, I’ll keep this post short and sweet. In honor of the crazy, back to school week ahead, the blog will be on break until next Monday, the 12th.

However you choose to spend it, enjoy this Labor Day Holiday, today, and the last moments of summer.

Happy Labor Day!

See you in a week.

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Making Decisions Isn’t Always Easy – Crossroads

crossroads image

Stuck

I’m usually a decisive person. I know what I like and what I want, so there is often very little time spent making decisions. Earlier this year someone told me that this would be a year of change. Change can be stressful, but I am at a time in my life when I feel very open to it.

Lately, however I feel stuck at a crossroads. I’m ready for certain, inevitable changes in my life, but when it comes to making decisions about what my “professional” future should be, I don’t have a clear vision. Up until now, freelance writing has been great, but I am ready for more.

I feel like I am on the right path with my book and blog, but I don’t know where the path is going and that is driving me nuts. I have a million ideas swirling around in my head, but nothing has struck me as the best next step. I feel like a kid in high school who doesn’t know what they want to be when they grow up. “It’s OK,” a parent might say. “You don’t have to decide right now.”

But, I’m forty seven years old (there, I said it), I do have to decide and I think I should do so quickly, because I’m running out of time.

Fifty Is The New Twenty?

But am I? Fifty can easily be the new twenty. I know several women who have reinvented their careers after fifty and here’s an inspiration clip I recently posted on Facebook.

Gary Vaynerchuk is an entrepreneur and public speaker. Good message-old tee and scruffy face aside.

The Dilemma

Here’s my dilemma – While I want the professional success I’ve always known I’m capable of achieving, I also want to accompany Tony as he makes his slow progression toward retirement. He said something recently that really hit me…“Just as I am starting to slow down, she is ramping up – I’ll be happy to pass the baton.”

And I’d be happy to receive it, but I also know myself. If I take that baton, I am going to run with it at full speed. I will immerse myself in whatever I do, just like I did as a mom and more recently as an obsessive dog owner.

There is a really big part of me that’s been looking forward to the time when Tony and I can focus on being a couple again with fewer distractions. Dinners in the city, day-trips, travel and joint activities are all things we’ve talked about doing more of when we aren’t so focused on work, carting kids around and rushing home to let the dog out. A truly successful career does not happen without a lot of work and I question whether now is the time to start over.

What Now?

I’ll probably be at this crossroads for a while longer. I guess I am like a kid in high school who doesn’t have to decide right now. But I want to start making decisions soon and when I do, I’ll go all in to whatever choice I make. There really is no wrong way, but embracing the chosen path, without looking back, will be the key to my success; be it personal or professional.

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Back-to-School Meditation Techniques with Daring Spirits

Daring Spirits logo

 

Daring Spirits – Guided Meditation and More

When Barbara Holbrook and Elizabeth Guilbeault of Daring Spirits reached out to me to be their Daring Spirit of the Week, I was flattered. When I looked into what Daring Spirits was all about, I was intrigued. When I read their slogan, “This is your life: Dare to go all in,” I was sold.

Daring Spirits is team of women dedicated to helping clients become fully present in their lives. Life today is busy, sometimes frantic. Too often we lose out on the full experience. The team at Daring Spirits takes a holistic, full-body/full-being approach to achieve focus and clarity. Through guided meditation, they help you engage your mind, nurture your body, integrate your spirit and bring mindfulness to work.

And grown-ups, these tools aren’t just for you. Our busy, stressed kids can benefit from guided meditation too. Check out these meditation techniques to help the back-to-school experience be a positive one: for parents and students alike.

I am pleased to introduce my second guest blog here at 3 Olives & a Twist – welcome the wisdom of Daring Spirits’, Barbara Holbrook and Elizabeth Guilbeault:

Barbara Holbrook, co-creator of AMP, on meditation techniques
Barbara Holbrook: Co-Creator and Energy Worker
Elizabeth Guilbeault co-creator of AMP, on meditation techniques
Elizabeth Guilbeault: Co-Creator and Energy Worker

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Meditation Techniques to Help Your Kids Stay Relaxed and Focused

The kids are heading back into the halls of academia soon and we parents are checking off the back-to-school list:

  • pencils
  • folders
  • new sneakers
  • grounding cord
  • roses
  • gold sun

Wait, what’s a grounding cord? Do they carry that at the office supply store? Roses? What are those for? Gold sun? Will that even fit in their locker??

Rest easy, you and your kids already have these essentials. All you have to do is put them to work for you, and they’ll make school – and life – a little gentler for everyone.

Grounding cords, roses, and gold sun are all visualization tools for meditation to use anytime, anywhere to diffuse tension and ease stress.

Grounding Cords: Get Present

A grounding cord is simply a way to connect to the earth and help us be fully present. It’s great for those times when our energy feels scattered – getting everyone out the door in the morning or driving car pool are great times to use a grounding cord! Here’s how:

Visualize a line of color, a tree trunk, a string of twinkle lights, a tail – it can be anything, the more light-hearted; the better! Imagine the line extends from the base of your spine or your hips down through the ground to the center of the earth. If you don’t know exactly where the center of the earth is, or what it looks like, don’t fret! The intention is enough to make it work for you. Notice how it helps you feel more connected to the activity at hand, how your attention is more focused and you feel more rooted in the present moment.

Roses: Destress and Diffuse Tension

Roses can be employed to diffuse tension, and they’re a fabulous way to help us detach from things that we might not want to carry with us. Think about the stress kids bring home from school (or adults bring home from the office!) “Blowing roses” gives us a way to let go of that stuff and reset our spaces for ourselves. We use roses simply because everyone knows what they look like. You can also use bubbles; kids can easily see bubbles and imagine them bursting.

Visualize a rose (or a bubble) out in front of you. Now blow it up! Pop it, explode it, watch it turn into beautiful fireworks. Experiment with roses or bubbles of different sizes, with sending them far away (we love to shower the middle of the ocean or the moon with fireworks!), and with blowing them up behind you, next to you, above you. You can even put specific things into the rose or bubble – for example, the guy who cut you off in traffic, the test score, the frustration over homework. Notice how much lighter you feel, how your body feels calmer and you feel more at ease.

Gold Sun: Relax and Rejuvenate

Gold sun is a great one for teens and adults, in particular, and little kids love it as a bedtime ritual. It’s a way to fill your space with your own unique vibration, the energy that makes you, well, you. Using your gold sun, you can quickly and effortlessly connect with the deepest truth within you. It can help you make decisions that align with the highest and best version of who you are and who you are here to be. It’s also very healing to your body, so it’s a lovely way to relax and feel rejuvenated any time.

Visualize a gold sun 1-2 feet above you. Imagine that sun shining down on you, feel the warmth as it surrounds your body and even soaks in to your body. Let it be soothing and calming, let it energize you and help you see yourself clearly. Allow it to fill you with love and peace. See the gold surrounding you, buffering you from other peoples’ energy and giving you space to choose your best path easily.

Pop these tools in their imaginary backpacks and you are giving your kids, and yourself, life skills that will grow with them and make learning and life a little less stressful and a lot more fun!

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Thank You

Thank you so much Barbara and Elizabeth for these back-to-school meditation techniques – Daring Spirits specializes in guided meditation, clairvoyant readings, coaching, energy readings and healing. Learn more about Daring Spirits at:

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