Well, I want to say we postponed our trip to Europe because I fully intend to take this trip in the future – just not now. My feelings about this are deeply mixed. We were set to cruise from Rome to Northern Italy, then the French Riviera, then Spain. Nice, France was one of our stops.
When this most recent Bastille Day tragedy was reported, it was more than I could handle. Getting on a plane on a good day is something I can barely handle, but now one of the places we were planning to visit had been hit. I just didn’t want to go.
I actually said I wanted to cancel our trip to Europe after the Belgium incident (3/2016); Tony talked me out of it. I said if one more horrific thing happened in Europe I wouldn’t go. Then Istanbul happened (6/2016); Tony talked me off the ledge once again. He said, “Beth, Turkey is in a lot of turmoil right now, something like this won’t happen in the places we’re going – they aren’t targets.”
At this point I wasn’t evening factoring the 2015 attacks in Paris. Then there was Nice (7/2016). I didn’t have to fight. Even Tony was rattled knowing we were to be in that very place, very soon. It was all too much.
Yes, I know there’s a greater chance of being killed in a car accident, but that didn’t change the sinking feeling I had. And sinking was the last thing I should be thinking about when getting ready for a seven day cruise.
The fear was overwhelming and it took over. I wish it hadn’t, I wish I was stronger, but I felt better about not going than going.
I don’t want to run scared and I don’t want to let anyone “win,” but I’m not a risk taker and how could we enjoy ourselves wondering if wherever we were going to be was next? This time, my family agreed. The decision was made – I’m relieved and devastated at the same time.
I feel privileged to travel with my family. I love that my girls enjoy traveling with us and want to see the world. When we last visited Rome we never made it inside the Colosseum. This trip would have given us the chance to check that box. I am sad, angry, guilt-ridden and so torn about changing our plan.
I can only hope and pray that our world gets better and that we have the chance to schedule another trip to Europe very soon.