Stuck

I’m usually a decisive person. I know what I like and what I want, so there is often very little time spent making decisions. Earlier this year someone told me that this would be a year of change. Change can be stressful, but I am at a time in my life when I feel very open to it.

Lately, however I feel stuck at a crossroads. I’m ready for certain, inevitable changes in my life, but when it comes to making decisions about what my “professional” future should be, I don’t have a clear vision. Up until now, freelance writing has been great, but I am ready for more.

I feel like I am on the right path with my book and blog, but I don’t know where the path is going and that is driving me nuts. I have a million ideas swirling around in my head, but nothing has struck me as the best next step. I feel like a kid in high school who doesn’t know what they want to be when they grow up. “It’s OK,” a parent might say. “You don’t have to decide right now.”

But, I’m forty seven years old (there, I said it), I do have to decide and I think I should do so quickly, because I’m running out of time.

Fifty Is The New Twenty?

But am I? Fifty can easily be the new twenty. I know several women who have reinvented their careers after fifty and here’s an inspiration clip I recently posted on Facebook.

Gary Vaynerchuk is an entrepreneur and public speaker. Good message-old tee and scruffy face aside.

The Dilemma

Here’s my dilemma – While I want the professional success I’ve always known I’m capable of achieving, I also want to accompany Tony as he makes his slow progression toward retirement. He said something recently that really hit me…“Just as I am starting to slow down, she is ramping up – I’ll be happy to pass the baton.”

And I’d be happy to receive it, but I also know myself. If I take that baton, I am going to run with it at full speed. I will immerse myself in whatever I do, just like I did as a mom and more recently as an obsessive dog owner.

There is a really big part of me that’s been looking forward to the time when Tony and I can focus on being a couple again with fewer distractions. Dinners in the city, day-trips, travel and joint activities are all things we’ve talked about doing more of when we aren’t so focused on work, carting kids around and rushing home to let the dog out. A truly successful career does not happen without a lot of work and I question whether now is the time to start over.

What Now?

I’ll probably be at this crossroads for a while longer. I guess I am like a kid in high school who doesn’t have to decide right now. But I want to start making decisions soon and when I do, I’ll go all in to whatever choice I make. There really is no wrong way, but embracing the chosen path, without looking back, will be the key to my success; be it personal or professional.

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