Golf Widow – A Throwback Thursday Re-Post

#TBT – Originally published on June 11, 2016

Almost a year after I first posted this, the obsession has only taken greater hold. Tony is back at it in full force, so I thought this might make a timely repost for those in the midst of their golf obsession (like him) or those sitting on the sidelines (like me). I just don’t get how anyone can want to golf that much!

Golfer at sunset


This past weekend, more than any other, I realized that my husband is obsessed with golf. His commitment had reached an all-time high, golfing every day from Thursday on, and some days he golfed multiple times. When Tony first started his tax business; I would call myself a tax widow from about January to April when he’d disappear into an abyss of tax returns. But now his business is well established and in turn he is obsessed with golf from about May to September.

Tony hasn’t always been a big golfer; only in recent years has the bug hit him hard. I don’t mind really. The truth is; summer is a slower time in the world of taxes which translates to him working more from home. This is okay, but after a while I start to feel – how can I say this nicely – irritated. Hmm, that wasn’t the nice word I was looking for, but regardless – I like to have the house to myself. Fortunately for me, golf has become Tony’s new “office” which gives us just the separation we need to keep a happy marriage going.

While Tony’s romance with golf suits me just fine, I can’t help but wonder what the attraction is. This pastime, beloved by so many, strikes me as frustrating and inconsistent at best. There are days Tony will be on cloud nine talking about the great game he had. The next day he’s glum and befuddled by his subpar performance. It seems no matter the time and dedication practicing form, swing and strategy; there is just no way to predict a good day from bad. This would drive me insane. In fact, it has driven me insane. Just last year, I wrote about my attempt to finally give golf a try. I did it and, not surprisingly, I didn’t like it.

I was doing what the instructor told me, but the ball wouldn’t go where I wanted it to. It was incredibly annoying and week after week, I saw no real progress. I thought; why in the world would I put so much time and energy into something I’m clearly not good at? I just didn’t get it and came to the conclusion that with golf; you either have it or you don’t. I most definitely don’t!

But as I continue to watch Tony and many friends enjoy this sport, sometimes in sweltering heat or pouring rain, I ask myself – what am I missing? How are they so obsessed with golf when I can’t even endure the agony of mini-golf?

As Tony prepares today for yet another busy day at “the office,” he tells me that it’s the challenge, both mental and physical, that keeps him going back round after round.

Ahhh yes –  the chase!

Are you a golfer? What do you love about the sport?

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7 years ago

In the game of man vs. golf, golf ALWAYS wins! There’s no perfect score, so that can’t be a goal — like 300 in bowling. A golf ball sits motionless. The club is placed squarely to the back of the ball as it is addressed. The club must be swung such that it comes down again squarely to the back of the ball. That’s the entire game. And the game always wins…

Jen K
7 years ago

I’m a golf widow too! Frank went from running miles to obsessing about golf. I tried it and could care less how my game goes I just love the idea of getting out with friends and being social. Chloe likes it too but requires a golf cart. Not sure about the sport of golf or driving the cart that’s more the attraction.

kristen pascucci
7 years ago

I love golf. However, it’s hard to find the time.

7 years ago

I had to laugh out loud but I must share this…there are two kinds of widows; bereaved and relieved, so perhaps you can enjoy “relief” that he’s not home leaving the seat up LOL Love your stuff Beth!!

7 years ago

I am new to golf. I started taking lessons last year. I never thought I would ever play but there is something about it that is very addicting! I think it is the challenge of hitting a tiny ball so far away. Everyone says that it takes years to master the game. So I am hoping by the time I retire in about 20 years, I will be really good at it!
(Or at least be able to the ball pretty well!)

7 years ago

Golf is NOT my game!

7 years ago


As one of Tony’s occasional golf partners I can help shed some light, but likely not enough to satisfy the “huh, I just don’t get it” reaction of non-golfers, golf widows, etc.

For me it’s the company, the friendships built, the exercise, the venue and finally the inching forward of skill development/results….in that order. We golfers are an uncomplicated lot!

Tony and I will no doubt be discussing this blog entry in two weeks, when once again looking in the high grass for lost ammunition.


beth daigle
7 years ago
Reply to  Mark

Thanks Mark – This sheds more light on the mystery. I appreciate your insight and your ongoing support!

7 years ago
Reply to  Mark

Beth, Tried private lessons for two summers with a great golf pro; end result was that I was just as bad as I was the first lesson. Golf is a tough sport and not for everyone. I really wanted to play albeit golf was not for me! Summer is only about 10 weeks long.

Uncle Anthony
7 years ago
Reply to  Mark

Golf is a unique sport in that there is NO TEAM. It’s the golfer against the course. Some are better at it than others. But the course plays no favorite. I’m out there on most weekends. I’m really bad at it but my partners understand that at my age it’s the exercise and the chance to be out in the fresh air.